Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

I had transformers as a kid, I even had Optimus Prime, also a cassette player (Soundwave) and I don’t remember the others.

I also remember watching the cartoon as well, and even then I thought that Optimus Prime, voiced then as now by Peter Cullen, was a sanctimonious…anyway I digress.

We all had our opinions on the first Transformers movie, meh, and the second one, this got made?, well now we have a third.

Strangely subtitled Dark of the Moon, did Pink Floyd veto the word ‘side’ – we’ll never know, it involves something be found on the dark side of the moon.

The whole movie is one big setup towards ‘the mother of all Michael Bay battles’ which I have to hold my hand up does contain some very impressive CGI.

However the final battle lasts for nearly a full hour, far too long and drawn out, Bay once again humanises the Transformers way too much and John Malkovich plays, quite honestly, the strangest character you’ll ever see. He seems to have been shoe-horned in last minute as a way to progress a few points of the, er, ‘plot’, for what it is.

Previous eye-candy Megan Fox is replaced this time round with British model-come-actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. It would be unfair to pick on her for the movie as, although she has a fairly large part, it’s hard to see anyone else in the role who could have saved it.

In fact, the best thing about this movie is that Huntington-Whiteley manages to make it through the entire film, explosions, kidnappings, almost being killed, in a fantastic pair of Christian Louboutin heels. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a woman in killer heels.

This is the sort of movie you can watch if you can switch your brain off for long enough, forget reality (even Michael Bay reality) and look at the pretty shiny robots and explosions.

Personally I’d like to see what Transformers would be like in the hands of say Christopher Nolan or Guillermo del Toro, you can imagine Transformers as a darker, moodier film instead of this Hollywood fodder we have ended up with.

Who knows, perhaps we’ll get a quick ‘reboot’ as we have coming soon with Spiderman…we can only hope.