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Snake Eyes

You Roll The Dice But Do You Win?

20th August 2021

I was hoping, expecting, that Snake Eyes would be good, I was wrong. I was hoping that Snake Eyes would mean Hollywood might do a good martial arts movie, I was wrong.

Things don’t get off to the best of starts as director Robert Schwentke (“RED”, “R.I.P.D.”), for reasons best known to him, decides to go down the shaky-cam route.

The early fight scenes are shot in shaky-cam and so close that you could read the washing instructions on the clothes being worn. This means you miss most of what’s going on…great.

That does calm down as the movie goes on, but it isn’t the best of starts. What follows is two-hours of of drabness that allegedly cost $80 million dollars.

Henry Golding (“Crazy Rich Asians”, “Last Christmas”), Andrew Koji (“Luck”, “Call The Midwife (TV)”), Haruka Abe (“Cruella”, “Avenue 5 (TV)”) and Takehiro Hira (“Sanadamaru (TV)”, “Erica 38”) do their best, but the dialogue is eighties level of awful.

If you think that’s bad you should wait until Samara Weaving (“Ready Or Not”, “Guns Akimbo”) arrives to proceedings, a bizarre arrival with zero back-story.

Though the latter goes for most of the characters, even old Snake Eyes himself, the whole movie is meant to be about him, but it’s a weak story and a cliched one at that.

You could say that this is the source material and they’ve stuck closely to that and usually that’s a good thing, but if that’s the case here (I’m not overly familiar with the G.I. Joe, erm, universe(?)), I think they’d have been ok changing it up a bit.

As far as the casting goes, Golding does ok, but I’m struggling to see why the biggest martial arts names, Iko Uwais (“Triple Threat”, “Mile 22”) and Peter Mensah (“300: Rise of an Empire”, “Avatar”), for example, are condemned to bit-part roles.

I really had high hopes for Snake Eyes but, as has happened before, I shouldn’t believe the hype. There are so many good martial arts films that you should watch over this if that’s what you’re looking for. I just hope F. Gary Gray can pull the M.A.S.K.: Mobile Armored Strike Kommand movie off.



18th August 2021

Robert Schwentke

Evan Spiliotopoulos, Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse

Running Time:
2h 1min

A G.I. Joe spin-off centered around the character of Snake Eyes.

Andrew Koji, Anna Waterhouse, Evan Spiliotopoulos, Haruka Abe, Henry Golding, Iko Uwais, Joe Shrapnel, Peter Mensah, Robert Schwentke, Samara Weaving, Takehiro Hira

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