The Bromley Boys

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19th July 2019

The Worst Club Ever?

The Bromley Boys follows lifelong, uber-passionate Bromley FC fan Dave Roberts, Brenock O’Connor (“Game Of Thrones (TV)”, “Derry Girls (TV)”), a 15-year old boy who becomes obsessed with his local team.

This goes against everything his father Donald, Alan Davies (“Jonathan Creek (TV)”, “Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging”), says. Donald is a grumpy old man, he hates football, even going as far as banning it from the household.

Luckily Dave’s mum Gertrude, Martine McCutcheon (“Love Actually”, “Echo Beach (TV)”), doesn’t feel the same way and so football becomes ‘their little secret’, Dave having to pretend he’s going to scouts instead of the game.

Bromley FC play in the lowest of low leagues, so far from the dizzy heights of Division One (there was no Premier League in 1970), you’d need binoculars to see it. Also, they’re not very good, battling for relegation each season, regularly losing heavily, jumping on the bandwagon this is not.

Under the ownership of Charlie McQueen, Jamie Foreman (“Eastenders (TV)”, “Ironclad“), Bromley are on the verge of vanishing for good. So when Dave accidentally ends up in the chairman’s office, he does some snooping and, putting two and two together to make three, thinks that some of the biggest clubs in the league are interested in Bromley’s own striker Alan Stonebridge, Ross Anderson (“Payback Season”, “Vikings (Short)”).

Whilst this could save the club, lord knows they could use the cash, Dave doesn’t want his biggest idol to go. How would he cope? What would he do if he left?

Despite struggling to make friends, Dave does manage to make some in the form of three grown men, the Bromley FC Supports Club; TJ Herbert (the producer of the film), Mark Dymond (“Die Another Day”, “Until Death”) and Ewen MacIntosh (“The Lobster“, “Shed Of The Dead“). He also falls in with the chairman’s daughter Ruby, Savannah Baker (“Hallows Eve”, “Poppy (Short)”).

Together, this band of misfits manage to inadvertently wreak havoc amongst the Bromley FC faithful and may end up doing more damage than they ever intended.

Written by Warren Dudley (“Cage”, “The Cutting Room”) and directed by Steve Kelly (“Doctors (TV)”, “The Bill (TV)”), The Bromley Boys is a tame affair that takes some time to really find its scoring boots, this it does, but it’s not until the final act that things really pick-up.

Prior to this the film feels chilled and relaxed, the voiceover from Alan Davies adding to the slow, melodic feeling of the movie. The occasional laughs do pop-up, and when they do, they are very funny, but they’re not as frequent as you’d like.

O’Connor is very good in the lead role. He plays Dave, supposedly a 15-year old, like an old man, even the dancing is cringeworthy but funny. Baker also holds her end-up, starting out as the geeky girl, not interested in football, before blossoming, as tends to happen with these things.

The Bromley Boys is a sweet film with some funny moments, something to put on when it’s wet and miserable outside and you fancy watching some nice and easy going.

A boy, a girl, and the worst football team in Britain. You can't choose who you're going to fall in love with.

19th August 2019

Steve Kelly

Warren Dudley

Running Time:
1h 46mins

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