Hitman: Agent 47

The Barcoded Bald Ones Are Back

I quite enjoyed the first Hitman film, mainly because of Timothy Olyphant’s portrayal of the titular man in question. This time round for the reboot we have Rupert Friend (Homeland, The Zero Theorem) taking the lead. How does it stack up?

I want to start by saying I do love action movies, I’m quite happy to be entertained and not think for a while if that’s what is required. I’m afraid to say you’d have to do a hell of a lot more with Hitman: Agent 47 to enjoy it.

I think there is a story here, I’m not saying it matters, but there is one. Agent 47 teams up with a woman Katia, played by Hannah Ware (Shame, Oldboy) to help find her father Litvenko, Ciaran Hinds (Munich, Road to Perdition) who started the whole Agent, assassin thing off to begin with. For reasons I’ve forgot now despite having just seen the movie, this has something to do with a man called Le Clerq, played by Thomas Kretschmann (Wanted, King Kong) and the latest of the Hitmen John Smith, played by Zachary Quinto (Star Trek).

There’s not really anyway to put this other than to say this is simply a bad film. A pointless remake, reboot or whatever you want to call it these days. The story, by Skip Woods (The A-Team, Swordfish) and Michael Finch (Predators, The November Man) is sloppy and doesn’t draw you in in the slightest. The direction from newcomer Aleksander Bach is ok, doesn’t set the world on fire but I doubt many directors could have saved this.

Friend plays the Hitman with all the charm and charisma of a plank of wood, and yes I realise they’re supposed to be devoid of emotion but with Olyphant for example you got a very good mixture. Hannah Ware looks like a young Angelina Jolie (which I’m sure wasn’t done by accident) throughout and is about as warm as a freezer meaning you have zero empathy or interest in her mission to find her father. Which by the way at the start of the film she doesn’t know who she’s looking for, just that she’s looking for a man…I mean of course.

Quinto tries to do angry bad-guy but I just didn’t buy it and Kretschmann tries to do big-boss but is given nothing to play with, probably the same with Quinto to be fair to him.

Looking at the good, well the stunts are quite nice, some of the slow-mo moves we see from Friend are pretty cool but they are few and far between in what is otherwise a forgetful, drab affair. Do yourself a favour and watch the original instead.

THE QUICK SELL
I quite enjoyed the first Hitman film, mainly because of Timothy Olyphant’s portrayal of the titular man in question.

RELEASE DATE
1st January 1970

DIRECTED BY
Aleksander Bach

WRITTEN BY
Skip Woods, Michael Finch

Running Time:
1h 36min

Certificate:
15

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UK Box Office

#Title
1

Frozen 2

2

Knives Out

3

Last Christmas

4

Les Miserables: The Staged Concert

5

Blue Story

6

Le Mans 66

7

Gremlins (4K Restoration)

8

Motherless Brooklyn

9

Elf (Re: 2019)

10

Charlies Angels

 

US Box Office

#Title
1

Frozen II

2

Knives Out

3

Ford v Ferrari

4

Queen & Slim

5

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

6

Dark Waters

7

21 Bridges

8

Playing with Fire

9

Midway

10

Last Christmas

UK Box Office

#FilmWeekend GrossWeeks on Release# of CinemasGross to Date
1

Frozen 2

£4,397,9033676£33,678,829
2

Knives Out

£1,637,5252677£6,042,446
3

Last Christmas

£1,318,0634660£12,474,204
4

Les Miserables: The Staged Concert

£946,7862459£3,246,166
5

Blue Story

£378,5893277£3,676,952
6

Le Mans 66

£184,8984399£5,620,610
7

Gremlins (4K Restoration)

£162,5281306£162,528
8

Motherless Brooklyn

£153,8211386£153,821
9

Elf (Re: 2019)

£148,4891274£148,489
10

Charlies Angels

£142,3692438£942,126

US Box Office

#FilmWeekend GrossWeeks on Release# of CinemasGross to Date
1

Frozen II

£35,165,61434348£338,090,515
2

Knives Out

£14,216,72323461£63,553,214
3

Ford v Ferrari

£6,655,13643746£91,228,489
4

Queen & Slim

£6,642,68521715£27,006,690
5

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

£5,200,50833491£43,120,923
6

Dark Waters

£3,996,27532012£5,181,024
7

21 Bridges

£2,865,05032465£23,917,746
8

Playing with Fire

£2,033,36952253£42,015,694
9

Midway

£1,933,13752100£53,395,608
10

Last Christmas

£1,016,76051262£33,453,935