Cockneys Vs Zombies

by OC Movies

3.5

THE QUICK SELL
You would expect this movie to be a lot more fun then it actually is

RELEASE DATE
1st January 1970

DIRECTED BY
Matthias Hoene

WRITTEN BY
Matthias Hoene, James Moran, Lucas Roche

Running Time:
1h 28min

Certificate:
15

 
 

You would expect this movie to be a lot more fun then it actually is. It is a, pardon the pun, turn your brain off movie obviously, but it’s not full of laughs as I expected it to be. Shaun of the Dead doesn’t need to start quaking in its boots anytime soon.

The story revolves around an old peoples home being demolished to make way for some new flats. The nephews of one of the OAPs decide to rob a bank to get the money to stop this happening and as they do that a group of construction workers accidentally unleash a virus on London, correction, the East End of London that turns people into zombies.

The issue, beside this not really being funny (the reason I keep mentioning that is it’s billed as a comedy, horror) is that the plot, such as it is, is filled with more holes than Swiss cheese.

For example, the characters say it isn’t a virus but the director Matthias Hoene says it is a virus in interviews. Confused? You will be. If it is a virus then why does it only inflict the people in the East End of London? And why do none of our ‘heroes’ get it?

There’s also plenty of continuity errors to get your teeth into (sorry!), as well as plenty of pointless rhyming slang, less you forget this is supposed to be the East End.

The acting is ok, think British TV and you won’t be too disappointed, Michelle Ryan sticks out like a sore thumb as she is a) attractive b) can actually act ok and c) looks the only one that you would expect to see in a film.

This came out at the same time as Strippers vs Zombies and I kind of wish I’d watched that one now, or perhaps just never watched this film in the first place. Still, could have been worse I suppose.

 

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